Life is hard.

It is the one undeniable truth, as the Buddhists teach.

This past weekend, it came to light (again) and once again, I found myself swimming in that murky water, trying to catch a breath.

From careworker issues (she was a no show for 2 days, and it happened to be on the weekend I signed up for an all-weekend long workshop. I couldn't attend as I had to then step in as careworker all weekend long for my boy).

Then my boy had to go to the heart clinic here in town...it seems his heart function has slipped..again.

Then family stuff (my mom, sadly is in a tough spot with her health)....

It just seemed like I was a lightening rod for all bad things to come my way at once.

So what did I do?

I went to the beach, sat down and cried. It was raining, I was drenched. I didn't care. I felt like I just wanted to be washed away in that rain, into the ocean and drift away from it all....

Throughout the weekend I cried, pulled myself together, then cried some more.

And yes, I went to the gym and trained. And yes, I stayed on track with my food.

But most importantly, I felt and honoured my grief...ALL of it. It was deep and long (I haven't cried that hard in years). If we don't feel our feelings and transition through them (not simply tolerate or try to hold back), then we can move into clarity and purpose.

I have a purpose...to support my boy in ALL ways, to never make anything that he is going through as 'wrong' or tragic (he is not a victim), and this is what I bring to every client I coach...to teach them how to be healthy in all ways which is building a healthy body, sure, but also a strong, rooted mindset, one that is continually reaching higher potentials by using life's lessons to ELEVATE us into a greater purpose and clarity.

We've been through some pretty tough years, mainly around my son's denenerative and terminal condition (DMD, Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) and before he was in my life, there were other troubles brewing...addition, abuse, panic attacks, ill health.

Yes, I still trained.....and yes, I didn't go into 'food hell' and feed my feelings.

I transcended the feelings. I honoured, then opened up to the lessons those feelings - grief, sadness, anger - could teach me.

It's not easy, but it is absolutely essential. 

THIS is one of many lessons my son's challenges have taught me.

You CAN create an amazing life, regardless of what is dished out to you.

In fact, I'd say you MUST.

"But how could you train at a time like that?" many would be asking...

What I've learned is that when the poop hits the fan, that is when I NEED to dig into my healthy living routine.

That's when I NEED to practice consistency and commitment, and maintain my health in all ways possible.

Because this life is NOT for sissies ....maybe you can relate too?

So when I do a call with a prospective client, I always ask what stresses she is under.

Because most people 'let life happen to them' and when the first hint of challenge comes along, they ditch their health practice.

But that is when I truly need it (I also do some praying and meditating in between lifts....so it's kind of a blend of physical and spiritual training).

In order to stay strong, united, healthy and on top of all the bumps, I NEED to take care of self.

I also need to take care of my son, whose needs are intense. I need to be his arms and legs because his no longer work.

And I need to stay connected to ME, to my life, my health, my sense of worthiness.

Too many people I talk to gave up on their health plan because they got bumped off the path, but when we learn to weave our healthy living plan INTO our daily life, rather than it being on the outside, and at the whim of every little topple that happens, THAT is living a truly healthy, committed life.

And in all honesty, with all that our family must manage on a daily basis, I simply would not be able to weather our many storms if I didn't stay strong, grounded, and centered.

And THAT is what my training and eating lifestyle does for me.

It's all in how you look at it.

I refuse to be a victim to circumstances, and I refuse to be thrown off course in my own care because life got choppy.

Life will ALWAYS be choppy. That's a given.

And how we ride those waves is up to us.