I used to think that being strong meant muscling through things....
I was always pushing through at school, aiming to be finished first and to get good grades. Admirable? Sure...
And I
pushed with my fitness journey, especially when it came to competiting and the grind and grit it takes just to make it to stage.
But there is a misconception about strength that needs a bit of a reframe.
Now don't get me wrong: to push through things can be an admirable trait, especially if you are building a business or a creer, or
working on a strict deadline. There are moments when staying strong and moving forward are essentail for success.
However, when we are hit with hardship or trauma or unexplained events, when we try to push through the emotional chaos and make it look like 'everything is OK, I'm OK' (as many women do...it's in our nature, I think), we bypass the need to move into the feelings of loss or abandonment or fear or
whatever else the event is causing us.
See...our feelings are SOOO important to process. But in our fast paced world, we want to 'just move on', because life dictates that we do so.
But as a certified Empowerment Coach, I know now the necessity in feeling the feelings BEFORE we try to move past them. And even if we return to that
sad or lost or angry place again in our memory, it's all ok too. We just feel it, and let it go.
Feel it, then let it go...again and again and again...every time it comes around.
And we can learn to not make the revisiting of old memories wrong. They are just there for a brief moment in time, perhaps for more healing to
occur.
I learned this with my son's diagnosis. It took me years before I could reframe it and see it in a different light, a hopeful and insightful light, but it took work. And courage.
I still go into the sadness of it at times, often when I'm in my gym training, and a song comes on that reminds me of my son in easier days, when he
could walk and play.
And in those moments, I sit, put my face into my hands, and have a soft cry. Because my body and my soul need this release...
It's my medicine really....
The trick is to not live in those sad or mad or regretful waters...this is the catch, really.
It can stick people into a way of living that has them living half a life, really. Mired in the darkness of their emotional turmoil, for years.
And this is when we check out with food, or shopping, or affairs or any other sort of numbing out.
If this is you, please find some support. We rarely can do it
alone.
For me, I went on a whole Spiritual Journey for years...taking programs, counselling, taking on mentors (some that are still with me today) to help me to understand and 'see' this challenging life our family leads from a different perspective, a higher place, if you will.
And that has made all the difference to me. I am able to
withstand the winds of change in his body and life as they come. I have redefined 'strength' as not pushing through at all costs (which for me was a way to not feel, a check out of sorts, staying busy), but moving into a soft surrender and acceptance of What Is.
Because when we fight with reality, we will never win.
And
surrendering and accepting, and letting the feelings in is the first monumental step toward healing and growth that serves us moving forward in this life.
With much Love and Gratitide,
