I love the Rockies, it is my second home. I spent 17 years in those lovely mountains, finding solace in the back country. I started my fitness career there too, training as a newbie at the local high school gym, because that was all that was available (I had to get the janitor to sneak me in when school wasn't in session).

Thankfully, my sister and family still live there, so I can 'go home' whenever I need to. It's not often these days, with a full business and my family. But it's a way to connect, breathe deeply, and be thankful for all that I have. And today, I need to 'go home'.

My son, Tristan, loves the Rockies, but he is no longer able to travel. There are many things you have to give up as you work through the intricacies of a degenerative disease like muscular dystrophy. It's unforgiving, relentless. And you have to keep adjusting your sails for the next change on the horizon.

Last night, Tristan and I talked about my trip to Canmore, and how much we wish he could be there...among the mountains, with my family. But respirators and special beds and lifts don't transport well. The peripherals make it impossible now. 

We talked about how sad he feels that he watches those around him go camping, swimming, hiking, and how he remembers the feeling of walking, of grass under his feet (he lost the ability to walk at 10), but that memory is becoming more distant now, as time marches on. We talked, cried, and talked some more.

Someone recently asked me how I manage the tough times. This is one way: by talking it through, and acknowledging that life is shitty sometimes.  We have learned that we need to feel the feelings, all of them - regret, sadness, fear, loneliness - and in doing so, we then honour those feelings, and once it's passed, life seems lighter somehow..."The only way out is through", as they say. I have learned this one well.

I also have my spiritual groundings, and given our circumstances, I've had a lot of years to master them. Spirit guides, meditation, chakra work, auras, night travel...I don't often go into this aspect of me with the public world, but my 'inner circle' of Warrior Women know all about the woo-woo Karen. It ain't all about biceps and abs! 

I suppose that's why I live a slightly reclusive life, because for me, I need that space, that time, to hunker down when the going gets tough, when my body is tired and my spirit is hurting from the weight of my son's many challenges. I need to lick my wounds, yell at the Sky, and shore up my strength again for the next round. And yes, i train. I eat well. Why would I deviate from something as basic as that? I NEED that body nourishment.

Many people abandon their healthy living program when the going gets rough, but I never understood that. For me, I NEED that to keep me going, to keep my head above waters, to help ground me and keep me sane. I don't park it when I hit a stressful time, because my training and eating style IS me, it's not something that is an add on. And when you make it a part of your everyday fabric, there is no compromise. There is no "I quit because of such-and-such happening in my life." This IS your life. All of it.

Embrace your life, your circumstance, all of it. There is no time left to feel sorry for yourself, or to say 'life isn't fair', or 'why me?" Why not? Life, and the Universe, is indiscriminate. Not everything happens for a reason (I personally hate that saying). You may not like it all, but if you let go and accept what is, you will find that you will be lighter somehow. And life takes on a greater meaning, but only if you allow yourself to go into the pain. 

And don't forget to train and feed your body well. It's the greatest act of self love and self care you can do. And as a mother living with a son who can only move a few fingers, to be able to move your body is a GIFT. Maybe that too, is why I train. 

Simply because I can.
And you can too.

PS My 10-Week Challenge is firing up. I've spent the last 4 weeks expanding and updating the program with NEW and improved E-workouts, videos, and I've added in Check in Sheets to keep each and every one of you on track and accountable! We start in 5 weeks. And yes, we go into the 'inner world' as well. :)