Se, my son, Tristan's, needs have intensified the last year. it's a 24/7 affair, with night shift work as well. I'm exhausted and at times I feel totally frustrated, angry, lost.

Admittedly, it's gotten tough the last year or so with Tristan's ongoing degenerative condition. With Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, there is never a remission, it just keeps plodding along, taking more and more as it goes.

As a mother, it is the hardest thing, to watch your child get weaker as he gets older. Now, he needs all things done for him. Even the simple act of scratching his face needs to be done by me.

So I decided to do a short video from my gym yesterday, sans makeup (poor gals) and all frills! I sent it out to my monthly Members on our group coaching program on Facebook...I bared it all.  They need to know, this lovely group of women, that we're not all perfect, that we all falter, we hurt, we cry. It's real life.

Why am I telling you all this? Why am I baring my soul to you all (notice how I don't post about this anymore on my Facebook pages...it's just too painful for Tristan to read)? Because we're all human, and I believe that my purpose for being here is NOT simply to be the 'fitness gal'. Lordy, life MUST have more meaning than that! I am here to share, support, perhaps to inspire too, I would hope.

It's important to be real, honest, and to let others know that we ALL struggle with life, challenges, some more than others. We ALL must move through life as best we can, and we ALL must stay healthy along the way.

Over the years, I've had hundreds of women on my programs, but the reason they fall away is almost always the same...they came up against a rough patch, and abandoned their fitness.

But what I put out to my group yesterday in my video on our Warrior Woman FB page was this: when the going gets rough, that's when you MUST tend to your health. That's when you MUST maintain a fitness routine, and healthy eating. 

So what's your go-to in times of strife? Is it to drown in a bucket of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, to abandon your usual health routine because you are feeling stressed / challenged, or is to keep yourself strong and able?

I'm not sure why human nature is to pull back into all un-healthy things, but it seems the way. But I think it's more of a mindset than anything, and if that mindset is now altered or strengthened, well, we cave in, is all.

I know what it's like to abandon it all. When my son was diagnosed, my world went dark, very dark. I struggled through depression, debilitating panic attacks, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and suicidal thoughts. I let go of all thoughts of training or eating well, I was in damage control. I left my healthy ways for 8 long years.

Then when life was on somewhat of an even keel, I learned to bring Spiritual practices into my life, and the sun began to shine again. I went back to the gym. I went back to tending to my health. It was a full 18 months before I was back where I 'was' fitness wise, but in time, and with patience and persistence, my cells were rejuvenated and my Power Centre returned. 'I' returned. 

Now, my son's needs are way more intense than in those years, but what has changed for me is that I rarely stray anymore. Never again do I want to feel the pain of losing myself, and the shame / guilt / regret at letting that part of my life go. I am worth it, and Tristan needs me to stay healthy and whole. It was too hard a climb back up.

For me, lifting has always been about way more than a great physique. It's been my medicine, my elixir, my connection to my Power. It keeps me centered in a world of uncertainty, where I could easily be taken off course, with Tristan's dire needs.

In between the sleepless nights, the painful days, the long doctor's appointments and the realities of life, HIS life, and all that it entails, and when I'm tired and drawn and sad, when I curse God for all things happening (it's ok, he's heard it before, he lets it go), when my body aches from the work, I always make sure I tend to self, to train (as best I can, really, some days are harder than others, to be sure), and I try to fuel my body well. 

No one said life was fair. I got over that one awhile ago. But I always have a choice in how I move through the challenge. I have had years of totally abandoning myself and my needs, and now my years are spent taking care of self, and finding my strength and fortitude among the dumbells, the sets and reps that keep me going, moving forward,and they remind me of just how powerful I am.

So when life hits you upside the head, and it will, don't turn away. Turn toward what you need - your body, your strength, your routine. It is there for YOU, waiting...

I always say that lifting and eating well are the greatest acts of self love you can to. And for boys like Tristan who can't even lift a finger, I am with gratitude every day for having a body that functions and moves in incredible ways.

I lift for Tristan.

I lift for me.

I am truly a Warrior Woman.

And so are you....